It's been an eventful couple days! Zoey has gained some new skills and had a bit of trauma to deal with.
On Saturday as part of an anniversary gift from Henry, I went to get my hair done. It was so wonderful to get a chance to freshen up. Something as simple as highlights can mean a lot to a new mom. It was quite the adventure as well as Zoey had a lot of trouble taking a bottle so leaving for over two hours meant Henry quite possibly faced a very unhappy and hungry little girl. However, when I got home I was shocked to see Zoey sleeping on Henry's chest. He smiled and said, "She just finished her bottle". We were over the moon! Her ability to take a bottle means so much to us. It means traveling is a little more plausible, it means we don't have to run out of church the second the say Amen, it means that we can go out for a meal and have a babysitter. I was worried it was just a fluke, but she took another one that evening and has continued to do so for the last few days. We are so excited!
The other adventure we have involved her first round of vaccinations. I was nervous but while Henry offered to come with me, I decided I would be strong for Zoey. It was incredibly tough for me. She had the three needles and by the third she had enough. She looked so horrified that I was letting that happen to her. I broke my heart. I managed to hold it together but I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy. She's been a little cranky since but other than a little fussiness and a need to be cuddled, she's done really well. I'm not looking forward to the next round but we will deal with that one when we get to it.
I've been really frustrated with what I'd call a witch hunt for women who bottle-feed their babies. I was feeding Zoey a bottle in the waiting room after her shots and I was shocked by the number of dirty looks I got from people walking by. It was breast milk so people had no need to worry, but honestly, what if it was formula. Some people seem to act like formula fed babies are being fed poison! I have so many friends who for various reasons were unable to breastfeed, and honestly, if it's not what a mom is able to do, no one has the right to judge that.
Motherhood is amazing and every day I find more things that I love about my daughter. If I've had a rough day or a stressful moment, she smiles at me and I melt. I see Henry holding her and knowing that this little girl has him wrapped around her tiny finger. Even the nights where I can barely keep my eyes open I am amazed by her. She is precious and we love her so completely and unconditionally.
2 comments:
Good for you for being so strong Ashley! I did have Steve with me for Eva's first shots and I still had tears rolling down my face. It's so heartbreaking! I do have to say, it does get easier. By the time Eva was a year old she didn't even cry when she'd get them!
And I totally agree with you about the evil glare from women judging a mom that's bottle feeding. I'm pretty sure you know about my own struggles, but I read some awful stories from one of my favorite blogs about bottle feeding. She was unable to breastfeed because of the shape of her nipples, so she pumped breast milk night and day and bottle fed her baby pure breast milk for SEVEN MONTHS! That takes a lot of dedication and love for your child, and yet she'd STILL get the glare down in public for bottle feeding.
Recently I was telling a very sweet well-meaning acquaintance about my own breast feeding struggles and how I had to give it up after 8 weeks with my oldest and 2 weeks with my youngest. She too seemed to judge and pry and tried to diagnose my problems..."did you try this?" "all you probably needed to do was this" "I'm pretty sure if you would have tried this it would have worked". I fought so hard to bite my tongue. She has no IDEA the turmoil and struggles I went through and the things I tried, much more than her list of remedies. It's not so simple. Obviously the breast is best, but we should be glad to live in a country and a period of time where bottles and good-quality nutritious formula exists so our babies don't starve in times where mother's have difficulties...or just need a little time to themselves! Thanks for commenting on this :)
I've heard it should get a little easier :) But it sure does break your heart!
I've been really frustrated with how bottle feeding mommies get treated. I have even noticed a majority of the literature for parents is very one sided. There will be pages and pages of information for parents on breastfeeding and a short paragraph on formula feeding. We all know 'Breast is Best' but sometimes it's just not possible, or even ideal. I remember telling Henry at about week two with the blisters, cracks, bleeding, and mastitis, "I totally get why someone would use formula!". I think the only thing that stopped me in that moment was completely engorged boobs and the fact that she did not want anything to do with a bottle.
Don't get me wrong I love that I can breastfeed Zoey. It's awesome bonding for us and it's all leveled out now, but it's the choice I made in my specific situation.
And I completely agree! We are so incredibly lucky to have the option of safe and nutritious formula options. I think a lot of people take that for granted.
I guess you can tell I get a little irritated with judgmental people :)
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