Little Girl Grows Up...

Today is the last day Zoey will be 3, and it seems appropriate given how grown up she has become. She still has that tiny little voice that melts my heart, the same big baby blue eyes that she has had since the day she was born, and her hand still fit snugly in my hand. She's still my baby girl, but in the last few months, even weeks, she has grown up significantly in front of our eyes.

We had a demonstration of how much she has grown last weekend. She showed us how capable she really is under pressure. We were on our way out to Henry's soccer game when I popped out on the deck to grab supper off the grill so it would be ready when we got back. I shut the patio door behind me to make sure Sy didn't follow me outside when Zoey locked the toe lock on the door. She was being silly and having fun, but the problem was she didn't know how to unlock it to let me back in the house. Since we were on our way out, everything was locked up and my phone was inside. I tried for about an hour to give her direction to unlock the door and she tried, she tried so hard. The lock is tricky, even for adults who try it the first time find it a little disorienting so I understood why she was having trouble. We tried a few different options but nothing was working. I finally asked her to bring my phone to me, hoping we could squeeze it through a crack in the patio door. She climbed up on a chair to get the house phone and started to climb down. Unfortunately she didn't see that Sy had taken the vent cover off and she stepped inside and hammered her leg against the tile edge. I likely don't have to explain how unbelievably awful seeing your baby girl bruised, bleeding, and crying for you and being unable to get to her, feels. I was fairly sure she was going to be okay, but that feeling will stay with me for quite sometime. Despite all that, Zoey rallied and managed to keep helping me try and get inside. She mustered up bravery and climbed back up on the chair to get my cell for me. The crack in the patio door was just big enough to barely get the phone through so it took some time and some determined effort from Zoey. I was unsure if she was going to be able to get it pushed through, but she tried, and was not going to give up until she succeeded. My heart swells with pride when I think of it, it was incredible. Finally I had my phone and I tried calling Henry on the off chance that he had is phone on the bench with him. After thinking for a minute I decided it was time to call 911. They were so helpful and sent an officer to the house and a locksmith was close behind. The officer arrived first and amazingly got in through an unexplained unlocked window (they are all securely locked tight now). In the 20 or so minutes while we waited for the officer to arrive Zoey grabbed the iPad after I asked her to take care of her brother. She sat in front of the patio door and played games and turned on a movie for him so I could see both of them. She was mentally and physically drained by this point but kept talking to me and stayed remarkably in control. When the officer came inside she was a little stressed by the stranger inside the house while Mommy was outside. However, once I was inside the officer talked to her and she told him about her Owie and how she got herself a bandaid. I was so impressed at her willingness to talk to him and stay in control even then.

When Henry got home we recounted the story and he showed her how to unlock the door if it ever happened again. We also have a plan set for anytime something like this happens again, although hopefully it doesn't. We have been talking all week about how amazed and proud of Zoey we are, how she took care of her brother, even though she was hurt and scared she kept helping me, how she was brave and talked to the Police Officer, and how she took care of her brother and listened so well. She was very mature and grown up, and it seems so fitting that she would be having her birthday this weekend.

Our sweet Zoey is so brave, kind, loving, smart, and funny.

When she dances I feel unable to actually contain all the joy she brings me.

When she laughs we can't help but smile.

When she plays with and takes care of her baby brother we feel so much gratitude for her and her loving heart.

When she sings 'Let It Go' from Frozen, I am in awe of her mind and her ability to memorize and learn.

When she is patient and knows that we have presents for her but is willing to wait a whole two weeks, we nearly burst with pride.

When she uses her manners we are thankful for her willingness to listen and to bless others with her thoughtfulness.

We are so very thankful for you Zoey and can't wait to bless you on your Birthday tomorrow! We can't wait to see what this next year and every year after holds for you. We pray daily that God would continue to build you up and draw you close. Thank you being so perfectly you.

We love you! Happy Birthday Sweet Pea <3

Sy is One and Some...

My sweet baby boy is one and a bit and the moment came and went in a flash! If you don't believe me, it's February 18th, over a month passed his birthday.

A post about Sy's first year is long overdue and I have found myself fighting the urge to talk about how hard and busy the last months has been, but I think I would rather talk about all the amazing things my little boy can do now.

At One Year my Sylas can walk and run like crazy. It's amazing. People thought we might be busier once he could walk but I find it almost easier. He's a sturdy dude and is giving it his all to keep up with his sister. He runs back and forth, back and forth, all day happily flapping his arms, joyfully pounding his tummy, finding new adventures, toys, and harassing our very patient dog.

At One Year my Sylas can eat! We were expecting this to be a challenge since he was showing the same signs and symptoms with eating solid food that Zoey had at his age. He wasn't able to eat anything with too much texture without throwing it all back up. We kept at it and let him try different things when we could and helped maintain the interest he had in food and flavours. But just before his birthday he started having an easier time handling different textures. He still has some challenges depending on the food or day, but he is loving food and we are so excited!

At One Year my Sylas can make people smile! Sy has a personality and smile that makes people stop us in the stores. His smile takes over his entire face and lights up his eyes. Whether it's a mischievous smile or a silly smile, it's impossible to not be touched by his joyful personality. Sy and his sister are both very bright individuals that way, but even last night, we were talking about his 'twinkle'. Oma couldn't help but smile just talking about what she's always called his twinkle. There is something in his eyes that lights up his whole face and the people around him.

At One Year my Sylas can talk talk talk! At his one year check up our family doctor was impressed with the number of words he could already say. Apparently, children with siblings can take a little longer to talk since the older siblings can take over for them. Zoey is more than happy to help Sy communicate, and regularly tries to let me know what she thinks Sy wants. But it seems Sy is eager to express himself as often as he can. He's babbled for quite sometime and over the last month or so has figured out a few important words to help him convey his many emotions to us. So far he can say clearly Mom, Dad, Uh Oh, uh ah (No), Please, Thank You, Up.....oh dear I'm forgetting a couple. But I have to say, I'm thrilled he's already using manners. It makes me very proud of my kids when I see them making those good choices.

At One Year my Sylas knows the people around him. Sy recognizes the people he trusts and feels comfortable with. When Daddy comes home he perks up and runs to peak over the gate to see him. He's always excited to see Auntie Bailey, Grandma, Oma and Opa, Carissa Lynn and Blair, all the people from our community group, and with a few visits to Edmonton he is excited to see Auntie Dawn and Uncle Ryan as well. I love that he can feel safe with his family and with others. He isn't a shy as Zoey was at this age with new people, but he has a healthy caution in unfamiliar situations.

At One Year my Sylas is athletic. Clearly the kids got their athletic strengths from me....okay probably not. Henry is one of those annoying  amazing people who truly excel at most athletic activities they try, and the kids are showing signs of having their Daddy's talents. Zoey can kick a soccer ball where she wants it to go and can throw a ball remarkably far and straight. Sy can keep up with his sister pretty darn well for a one year old. We haven't seen him kick intentionally yet but he has a solid arm so far. Like I mentioned earlier, he runs back and forth for a large portion of the day, and when he's in his crib he likes to jump and jump and jump.

At One Year Sylas loves. My baby boy has a gentle heart. He's more aggressive than Zoey was, he's trouble, and he loves to destroy things all day. But he loves his family, he loves hugs, snuggles, and kisses. If you ask for a kiss he'll smile and give a big, wet, sloppy kiss. I'll take those as often as he'll let me. I can see already that he can get frustrated and hurt just by the tone we use. He is incredibly intuitive. We describe Zoey often as being a ball of emotion, and I think that Sy is different, but we can't discount the deep deep emotions his has as well. I adore his personality and how sweet, silly, and precious he is.

At One Year my Sylas is loved more and more every day by his Daddy and I, exactly for who he is and I am so thrilled everyday with the new things I get to learn about him. We are so honored to be his parents and are so proud of who he is and all he learns every day.

Happy Birthday my sweet little monster. We love you more everyday! We pray that God would speak to you and become real to you more and more.

Love Always and Forever <3

Zoey's 3rd Birthday!

Zoey is 3! I'm not sure where the time has gone but she's 3 now. Having children seems to mean a constant feeling that this person has always been here and always been a part of your heart, while simultaneously feeling disbelief. She was just born and put into my arms at the hospital yesterday, how can she be 3!

But Zoey is indeed 3 now, she's a spunky, kind, smart, active, crazy, gentle, shy 3 year old. I'm not entirely sure how to fully describe her completely in words. I don't know enough adjectives to explain how my heart swells when I see her try something new or when she is brave.

It's hard to describe how sometimes I look at her and I can't believe how beautiful she is, even with hair in her eyes and sticky cheeks, she's stunning and I can't believe she is mine.

It's too hard to write down how funny we think she is, how we laugh at her jokes and 3 year old sense of humour. When she buckles over, holding her belly laughing saying, "That's so funny!" you can't help but join in her laughter.

I don't know how to say enough how proud we are of her everyday when we see her use manners or even the day she piped up suddenly and said,"Time for bed Mommy". When we see her love her little brother and glow with pride herself when she makes Sy smile.

I can't truly tell you how much I love when we sit to read story books together or pick a recipe to bake together. When she snuggles in beside me to listen or takes it and reads it to me it's a dream. Or on the chair beside me helping stir and adding ingredients to the mix is something I hope we can share for many many years together.

The baby days have gone by far too quickly yet I'm loving each stage with her more and more. My Mom was right, "as good as you think it is right now, it gets better, everyday".

So Zoey is indeed 3 now and she is amazing. We pray that everyday she knows how loved she is and continues to be who she is and discover what God has for her.

Someday, Zoey, you may read this and I hope you know that you have been loved unconditionally from the very beginning and we are so incredibly proud of you.

Happy 3rd Birthday Zoey! We love you <3

Happy 2nd Birthday Zoey

Dear Zoey,

You’re TWO now! I know it sounds cliched, but it’s amazing to me how fast time has gone by. It been the most amazing, challenging, unforgettable, untradeable two years. We have watched you learn so much and develop from a baby into a toddler. I can remember when you were just 3 months old and wondering how on earth you would transform from laying on the floor to a baby who could sit on her own. I’ve worked with children all my life but to see you do it, was like watching a miracle. I knew you could do it, I think you can do anything.

Now you’ve moved into a Big Girl bed! We made a big deal out of it and let you pick your very own bedding. You grabbed the Tinkerbell bedding off the shelf by yourself and hauled it to the cart. You squealed and jumped on the new bed and were so thrilled to see it set up. As with any new changes you were nervous going to sleep at first but now you lie down and if Mommy or Daddy sits with you for just a few minutes you roll over and fall fast asleep. I cannot tell you enough, how proud I am of you.

You are so bright Zoey and kind and loving. You make everyone you come in contact with feel your special joy. You blow kisses to anyone who waves, if you’re not overwhelmed with teething pain, you have a smile and a giggle for everyone. You enjoy playing with toys and the iPad. You’re so incredibly smart. When others see how comfortable you are with technology, with your blocks, with your motor skills they are amazed.

We are so grateful and amazed by you. You’re personality and spirit have brought so much more to our lives than we could have ever imagined. EVERY day is more interesting and amazing than the day before.

We love you Zoey Faith....Always and Forever

Putting It Off...

I've been meaning to add a post for Zoey's first birthday. Well it's been a few weeks and I haven't been able to get that done.

How on earth do I summarize what the past year has been like? It's been so indescribably amazing and huge. I've sat down a few times to try and write her one year post but the words have escaped me...

The last few weeks have been amazing and tough. Zoey is sleeping through the night....those who have been reading my posts and talked to me, know how much this concerned us. It wasn't a fact of not wanting or a unwillingness to get up with her, but it was a concern that we were doing something wrong. We also know that being able to get to sleep and stay asleep is an important skill. We are so so proud of her and so happy that we managed this milestone. It's as we told ourselves multiple times over the past year, there are so many times I've thought "I'm not sure how she'll do this?" and suddenly one day, she does it. The human body and Zoey in general is amazing and I have learned to have faith that God knows what the plan is for our little family.

I cannot believe how fast my little girl is growing up. I see glimpses of this amazing toddler everyday. It seems everyday she learns something new, develops a new behaviors or skill, and everyday she shatters our hearts with how much we love her.

In the midst of a fit where she thrashes when I hold her and screams till shes purple if I put her down, I step back and think about how frustrating it can be but wonderful at the same time. Learning big lessons, teething, and life in general can be tough and I marvel at the ability and honor to watch her learn even the tough things. I've always felt pretty good with patience with others, especially children. I am grateful for this trait as it's served our family well. It's not always easy but I hope that Zoey can sense how much she is loved and how unconditional that love is.

We have been reading Zoey Bible stories before bed and it's awesome. Henry reads it and we do the actions together, it warms my heart to be teaching her these important lessons and stories early. Last night we went upstairs to get her ready for bed and she crawled over to my bedside table with a purpose. I was about to tell her 'Don't touch' when I realized she was going straight for her Bible (a very cute pink one 'Just for Girls'). I gave it to her and she flipped happily through the pages. Henry came and sat down with her and they found the right story and she clapped and smiled as he read it to her. There has been a massive amount of ulcer inducing stress in my/our life for the last while. So much that some days I feel like I wander through my day in a daze. I feel as though I just need to 'Get through the day'. I try and keep my home from falling apart, complete my job in a manner that I can be proud of, make sure my daughter has plenty of time with mommy and feels loved, and manage time with my amazing husband. Some days this along with the other demands in my life feel overwhelming. However, I am in the process of relearning how to lean on God for everything and to take things piece by piece and not taking it all on in one shot.

Life is so amazingly good and I am feeling incredibly blessed. As people in the Province have lost their homes to fire and with what feels like an unending string of horrific natural disasters, I am grateful for everything I have.




My sweet and precious Zoey has brought so much joy to our lives and we are so proud of her. We thank God daily for her. I pray she always knows how loved and precious she is!

Mommy and Daddy love you sweetheart <3 Always and Forever

Becoming Confident...

I've been realizing that parenting requires confidence, something that does not always come easily when you feel like you have no idea what you are doing.

We are trying to grow in our confidence in what we are doing with Zoey. There are some areas in our everyday life that makes it a little more difficult some times. Sleep has been an issue this week. I'm not sure exactly what is causing the issue, but Zoey has been waking up nearly hourly the past couple nights. It makes it difficult for the poor thing (and her poor parents) to feel entirely rested in the morning. She has increased her frequency of feedings during the day in the last 48 hours so it makes me think perhaps teething, growth spurt, cold...anyone of those things. Henry and I talk a lot about what we want/think we should do. We read articles and books, talk to other parents. The general consensus, in my humble opinion, is that every child is drastically different and there are very few 'One Size Fits All' solutions. I have owned the choices we made and the difficult days that they may create in our future and I think that is part of trying to become confident. Henry and I know Zoey the best, we have a pretty good idea of what has/will work, but we are not so closed minded that we are not open to other suggestions and advice.

One of the difficulties we are having is we know Zoey would be able to cry it out, but since she stands up in her crib every time and it begins a crazy process of her crying, falling asleep while standing, falling down and starting all over because she's scared or bumped herself. If she does manage to sit down first, she wakes herself up every time her head bobs forward. We bought a new crib set for Zoey's birthday and it includes bumpers that we hope will help a little. As I was writing this post, I had to stop since my daughter was having a meltdown. She wanted me to pick her up but we are working to make sure she gets picked up not because she's crying. She worked herself up into a tizzy and once she finally settled I held her and rocked her a little and her muffled hics and soft cries began to slow into a sleeping breath. This reinforces the knowledge that she could fall asleep on her own, but who would want to deal with falling asleep standing up? We are talking about perhaps consistently going in and laying her back down. It's worth a shot.



This would be easy if I felt like we knew exactly what would work, or if her cries didn't go straight to our hearts. We love her so much and we are finding that balance between making sure she feels loved, supported, and comforted by her parents and also making sure as her parents we help her grow and develop the skills she needs.

I am trying so hard to relax about it all and give it to God. We will figure it all out. Zoey is a healthy, beautiful, spunky little girl. We love her so much and treasure every blessed moment with her, even the tough ones.




On an exciting point, we are trying to figure out what to do for her 1st Birthday Party! It's clearly all for us adults but it's excited none the less! My precious little girl is turning One and I cannot believe it!

Introducing Zoey Faith Duiker!

We have a new addition to the family! Zoey Faith Duiker was born March 29th at 11:32pm. She weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces and was 20.2 inches long. I apologize for the delay in posting about the birth, but as any new mom knows finding time where you are not attached to baby is a little tricky. Usually when the time arises, it's nap time :) As well, I've been thinking a lot about how on earth do I describe everything that happened and what a whirlwind it has and continues to be! I'll give it my best shot!

Well we went in for our appointment at nearly two weeks overdue on Monday March 29th. We were planning on having an induction date set for the following day. Henry had stay home with me that day as I was having pretty regular contractions and he figured there wasn't much point in going to work to just turn around and come home when I called him. It turns out that while that never happened it was a blessing to have him home with me and enjoy what was our last days just us :)

We got to the doctors office and you know your a little overdue when the staff look at you and say, you're still here?? Good times :) The nurse took my blood pressure mid contraction (something that happened through the entire labor) so I continued to hear comments about my 'elevated' blood pressure. I kept thinking, "um...well ya". My doctor came in and checked me, and said I was about 2 - 3cms dilated, which was a welcome change from the 1cm I had been stuck at for over a week. He looked at us and said, "Well guys I'm on call tonight till 5am. If you want you can head to the hospital and I'll break your water and we'll get things going for you." Henry and I were in a bit of shock, but we decided that we wanted to get things going and now was as good a time as any! He said good, and to meet him at the hospital in an hour. We both had kind of a 'holy crap' moment as we processed what was happening. It also turned out that the exam triggered much stronger contractions by itself. By the time we made it to the hospital I was really starting to feel them. They stuck us in the exam room and monitored her for a little while and then the doctor came in and he broke my water. So this whole process is gross. They broke and I had a ton of fluid drain and I thought that might be the end of it. Not by a long shot. When the tech had said the week before that I had a lot of fluid, he was not kidding! The entire labor was punctuated with me having to say, "um sorry I'm leaking again" I learned really quickly, dignity has no place in labor.

They moved me to the delivery suite and I thought, okay now we can relax and enjoy this process a little. Not the case. I was blindsided with contractions that suddenly were so intense and did not stop. I was desperate for the ability to breath or re group in between the contractions. They made me sick before I could make it into the shower. Again...no dignity :) The shower was definitely pleasant and helped a little but by the time I was at the place with no ability to regroup, its effect was gone. It had only been about two hours and I was overwhelmed with the reality that this would not likely get any better, rather it would get worse. I wasn't sure if I could have energy left to push after everything, especially if this continued much longer. I looked at Henry who was just sick seeing me like that, and I told him I wasn't sure if I could do it. We had talked lots about what we hoped would happen but we never said absolutely not on the epidural front. He had actually told me in the assessment room when they were getting bad that he really needed me to know that it was okay if I needed something at some point.

The nurse came in and started to talk with us about our options, which was really hard to fully process while in the midst of such pain. I finally said, you know what lets go for the epidural. It was good timing as the anesthesiologist was on the floor and was there in ten minutes. When they checked me before hooking me up I had not progressed at all. I was so frustrated. I was in so much pain and my body wasn't doing anything with it! They hooked me up with the ok from the doctor and honestly, I felt so good so fast. Henry said my color came back I was smiling, talking, and joking around. I had a contraction while he was putting the epidural in and he gave a burst of medicine in the middle and I just felt it fade away. Bliss. I admit I was a little scared that I was making the wrong decision at points, that it might slow everything down, but it turns out it was the best possible decision I could have made for myself. In less than an hour I went from 2 - 3cm to 6 - 7cm. The doctor figured that it would help since my body was so tense from the pain and it was preventing progress from occurring. Once I was able to relax, things moved along really fast. So Henry and I were able to relax and watch an episode or two of 'How I Met Your Mother'. I felt so good.

After a short time I told the nurse that I felt a lot of pressure on my bottom. I thought my epidural was wearing off, but it turns out her head was right there and she was ready to go. The nurse check and once she realized she said they would put in a call to the doctor and get me to push for a little while before he got there since it would likely take some time. Well after two pushes she saw her head and I had to stop. Now you wouldn't think so, but holding back from pushing once your body takes over is wicked hard.... for me, harder than the actual pushing. It seemed like it took the doctor an hour to get there but in reality it was only ten minutes or so. He told me to get pushing again and she was delivered in just a few minutes. The next hour is a bit of a blur, but I do remember Henry going over to see her, taking pictures, and us just kind of in awe. Oh that and the stitches...more on that another time :)

So there you have it. Our precious baby girl is finally here and through all the fear, sleeplessness, and chaos we are utterly in love with her and could not be happier!

39 Weeks and Being Patient

Easier said than done! But I have been surprised by my level of patience in waiting for our little one. This is not something that comes easily to me but I have felt since the beginning that God has taken this experience to teach it to me. I have to trust that His timing in her arrival is better than what I want to happen, and so I wait. I know that regardless, she will come so it's not like if she doesn't hurry I will never see her. So I have taken my dear friends advice and I am enjoy the last ounces of me time that are available to me. Lots of walks outside with Zeppelin, Working my way through 'Dexter' (a show my sister has on DVD and that was recommended by people I trust in this department :), Cleaning and organizing, and just relaxing a little. I am still sleeping through the night and I am soaking that all in since I know that that luxury will disappear.



I must say that I have been incredibly touched by how much she means to others already. So many have expressed their excitement for her arrival. Our families are over the moon excited and I think our little girl is going to be very lucky that way :) You know her arrival is eagerly awaited when your mother in law calls Henry's cell, he doesn't answer, and I get a call at home only slightly flustered because she thought we went into labor and didn't tell her yet :) Or when I call my mom to verify a spelling and she sighs because she thought I might have called for another reason :) To my family, I promise you will know as soon as I can possibly let you know and to my dear friends, my sister has instructions to update my facebook once we know what the scoop is, so everyone will stay as firmly in the loop as I can manage :)

The doctor says I am dilated but didn't mention how much, which leads me to believe there isn't a measurement for "Hardly" but I'll take it :) It means that the contractions I've been having fairly regularly have been doing something at least. They are slowly increasing but it's been over a number of days that this has been happening. My body is just prepping or practicing :) The walking is good for me the doctor says, gets me ready for labor and brings her down even more. She is still wiggling away in there but I can tell she is starting to run out of room. I keep telling her we have tons of space out here, but she's like her daddy that way, prefers to be curled up and warm than have space and potentially cold. Can't say that I blame her too much :)

It was my sister's birthday on Monday and we had a 'Weekend Extravaganza' to celebrate :) Went to see Alice in Wonderland on Saturday and really enjoyed it. I have always enjoyed Alice in Wonderland, especially since taking my Children's Lit class back in college. There is a great deal of richness to the story, as long as you can remove the author from the equation. Lewis Carroll was a bit of a....creep, but many great authors are :) Anyways, we really enjoyed that. On Sunday we watched the Oscars and had supper with the family and Lewis, who basically is family :) Then Monday we just kind of relaxed handed out her presents, had supper, and watch 24. Nice a low key after such an extravagant weekend :) The big 23....my we are getting old ;)


Time to get off my butt and get some walking in today. We shall see if mom is right today. Henry told me to hold off just long enough so it's officially Thursday....what a stinker :)