Holidays and Overdue...

40 Weeks, on my last Due Date

I had three (ish) Due Dates for this pregnancy. The first was December 23rd which was supported by the ultrasounds, December 26th a random date that popped up at an appointment, and the last December 29th based on the LMP. The 29th is the date that is in my chart and that my Doctor is using for my care. I know not to put too much stock into Due Dates, especially since I had three this time around. However, I think that having a few made it a little confusing and challenging to figure out what my expectations could be. But at this point, all my Due Dates have passed and I am now in the two week countdown. Henry and I know we can handle another two weeks, we've done it before, but we admit we are excited and eager to have this part all wrapped up and finally start life as a family of four. At the same time, there is a strong possibility this will be our last pregnancy (as much as you can know these things at this stage) and I'm wanting to savour these last moments. I adore feeling the kicks and squirming, I love how at this stage you can watch your belly dance as baby wiggles and jockeys around in there. I'm also trying to take in the moments with Zoey as an 'only' child and spend some quality time with her since I know that my attention and energy will be spread a little thinner once Roo does arrive. It's a mix of emotions. So I'm trying to savour it all and be patient as we wait for potentially a few weeks longer, and at the same time be mentally prepared for the possibility that Roo could absolutely come anytime now. As Henry left for work this morning, I asked him, "In the unlikely event I go into labour today which phone do you want me to call?". Then we laughed since it's not really unlikely anymore. We just don't know what it's like to go into labour 'naturally' since it was kick started last time by breaking my water at the hospital. I would love to experience it a little more gradually this time, but as long as we all end up healthy in the end, I'm game.


As for holidays, Henry had a week off for Christmas again this year and has another week saved up for after Roo arrives. It's the first time off he's had in at least a year that we've been able to relax and spend together as a family. We were so grateful and blessed that our basement was complete and it allowed us to host our family and friends for meals and hockey games, as well we spent a lot of time with Zoey playing with toys and snuggling on the couch. The time was also used to run errands together and go on coffee dates as a couple and with Zoey. Zoey absolutely adored having Daddy around and completely smothered him with attention. She insisted on Daddy putting her to bed every night. I don't think she would have let him go the entire week if she had the chance. I decided to give Henry a bit of a break and took Zoey to Walmart myself to grab a couple things and as we pulled away from the house and she realized Daddy wasn't coming, she whimpered until she fell asleep. It means so much to all of us that Henry had that time with her and that their bond is so strong. When Henry left for work this morning, he asked for a hug and she was too upset with him to oblige. Having your child love you is a pretty okay problem to have.

Helping us with the instructions for Racko

Just terrible

Daddy helping with her boots before church

Making Daddy's hair smell like Green Apples

Just doing some light reading

Out for lunch and colouring with Daddy

So for now we wait and pray that all goes well, and if at all possible, things happen on their own. And until then, we'll savour the time in between together and even sleeping through the night! :)

38 Weeks....or 39...

37 Weeks

It depends on who you ask how far a long we are. My chart at the Dr's is going by the LMP, which apparently they almost always stick with regardless of Ultrasounds (I suppose for consistency). However, Henry and I, along with both Ultrasounds put the Due Date closer to the 23rd, which is right around the corner....um hello? Where did the last 9 months go?

I've been feeling pretty good lately, not much to complain about besides the typical aches and pains that come with the last days of pregnancy. I had another check up on Thursday and I was surprised when my Dr told me that all the cramping I've been having was actually doing something! My cervix is thinning which for me is something. I remember in the last month with Zoey, I was stuck at the same place for weeks. Since that appointment I've been having more contractions and a lot of pre labor symptoms. We're very curious what I'll find out at my Monday afternoon appointment. Who knows things could actually be happening. I suspect things could gear up a little after getting checked, but we are staying pretty relaxed either way. I did tell Henry yesterday though, that if Roo wants to stay put then the contractions can calm down anytime. It's a little exhausting after a few days.

Basement

I disappeared for a couple days as well last week after being hit with a ridiculous Cold/Flu. I hadn't felt that rough in a long time. My sweet husband stayed home from work on Friday to take care of Zoey for me since I could barely lift my head off the pillow. It took me nearly a solid week to fully recover. At it's worst point, I was so terrified that Roo was going to make his or her appearance while I was sick. You do whatever you have to, but the idea of going through labor and having a newborn in that state was intimidating. Thankfully, God heard my prayers and I was able to recoup and get the rest I needed. Just in time for Zoey to get a slightly lighter version of the Cold/Flu. It was an interesting week in the Duiker household.

While I was curled up in bed, Henry and his folks worked hard on our basement to finish it up, and I am thrilled to say that I am currently in our new basement with Henry and Zoey and loving it. Yesterday was the first day we were able to spend some family time in the new space together. It's taken up so much time and dedication and we are so incredibly thankful for those who made it possible.

I am unsure as to how life will be after Baby Roo arrives but isn't that always the way it goes. Sweet Zoey seems to senses something big is changing and her behaviour has reflected that unease. We know however, that with a great deal of patience from and towards each of us we will work through any challenges that will inevitably come our way. Henry and I are so excited for what is to come and can not wait to meet this new little person and learn about his or her personality. We look at Zoey and are amazed at who she is and are continuously falling more and more in love with her. Who wouldn't want to do that again! So we wait patiently and continue to pray that God will give us all we need to raise our 2 children.

36 Weeks and Prepping...

The end is in sight for this pregnancy and I'm faced with some mixed emotions. With the pain and discomfort that comes with this stage I'm excited to be winding down, and obviously, I am getting more and more butterflies about finally holding our precious Roo in our arms and kissing his or her sweet head. I get full blown weepy every time I see some sappy newborn moment on TV or really anywhere, but I remember feeling that way before Zoey was born too. At the same time, I'm fully aware that having Roo means a lot less sleep and the discomfort does not disappear immediately after baby is born. Between sore muscles, a bruised hoo ha, and nursing, there is more than enough discomfort to keep me hobbling for another week or two. At least I'm aware of it this time and I feel more mentally prepared. Regardless, it's going to be amazing.

It's been funny this time trying to figure out when Roo may arrive, with the visits the hospital and my Doctor asking me to finish work early, there is the sense of a potential early arrival. At the same time, Zoey was two weeks late and I fully expect that is a strong possibility this time as well. These pregnancy's have been quite different so it's hard to get a sense of what to expect. I feel like we are watching a Sand Timer and we can only see one half. We know that time is winding down as Full Term is already next week, but how much time is left? So our goal is to do our best to make sure we are ready to go as soon as possible and enjoy the end of this stage in our life with as much peace and enthusiasm as we can. Henry's incredible parents have been working non stop to help us finish the basement and there is so much amazing progress I cannot wait to share the finished product. The entertainment center is gorgeous, the flooring is perfect, and the paint colours and trim all all up. We hope to have some things moved down there this week so we can get Zoey's room set up and have the crib up and ready to go. All this necessary work and with the Christmas season in full swing we are trying our best to find the time to be together as a family. We counted weekends before our Due Date and were in shock! There are so many things we want to do together but really as long as we get moments where we can sit and talk, go for coffee a couple more times, and have days focused on Zoey it will all be fine. New baby or not, it always seems we are scrambling to fit everything into the day, week, or month and it's typically impossible. As long as you have the priorities straight, the less important things will fall to the side and Faith, Family, and Friends will win out.

Lots of Dr appointments so we have fun while we're there!

Finally, an update Zoey's sleeping progress. After a couple incredibly challenging nights and naps, I had a revelation. I was getting a little frustrated and assumed that my toddler was choosing not to go to sleep in order to be defiant and difficult. While in some cases it absolutely is a power struggle I looked at my daughter and realized in this situation, that was not what was happening. She was stressed and anxious. We had taken away the security blanket per say of falling asleep with us holding her hand away and said, "Now go to sleep or else". I thought about how to be a bit softer and understanding about that transition and since then things have gone really well. She needed to be reminded and assured that she was not alone and that Mommy or Daddy are right there, for the first while we standing by the door where she can see us and slowly we start to move a little farther, still popping in to watch her depending on how she's handling it. We read to her, tuck her in, pray with her, and kiss her head and as we get up she asks, "Door? Right here?" and we remind her that yes, we are right here. Isn't that really what we are always looking for? I know that in moments of fear and anxiety, my prayers are asking God to remind me that He's right here, and Henry and I are praying fervently that Zoey and Roo learn to lean on and feel that comfort always from our God who loves them even more than we ever could (which always seems surreal).

Sometimes there are even suckers!

I love that Zoey finds so much comfort with us, it assures me that we are doing something right for her. Yesterday she was having a rare moment with her nap time. She was completely catatonic about having to go to sleep and had worked herself up into a high level of anxiety. After nearly an hour of working with her Henry texted from work. I asked if he would mind Facetiming so he could talk to her (technology is pretty cool). So he called and she saw her Daddy and he talked to her for a few minutes. He asked her if she was okay and through hiccuped breathing she said, "Ya". He told her when he got home they would play and spend time time together and she seemed to be happy about that. Meanwhile, behind the phone, I was trying to keep myself together. Pregnancy hormones and really the shear preciousness of the moment was almost too much for me. After their chat Zoey asked for lunch and the chance for nap time was over so I called it and we had some peanut butter toast. She had a great rest of her day and went to sleep like a champ at bed time.

So that's really what's been going on in our house lately. We did get some amazing Family Pictures done by a wonderful friend and crazy talented photographer in Lethbridge. I would HIGHLY recommend Richelle Tucker at Limetree Photography (CLICK HERE) for any event or family photos you may be looking to have done. We only wish we had known her when we were married! I will share some more of the photos from our recent session once I have them all. Thanks again Richelle!

Labour and Delivery Knows My Name...

As I sat there on the hospital bed sipping my water, I stared at those awful pastel and plaid curtains. I thought about my friend who told me once the sight of them is panic inducing after so much time spent staring at them, and I thought, ‘That makes sense to me’. The sight of them reminds me of the time spent with Zoey in the hospital. Those horrible first couple nights, feeling completely overwhelmed, in pain, and desperately wanting to be anywhere but there. As I stared at them this time, on the cusp of having Roo, I thought, ‘I really don’t want to be here’. 

It was another short quick trip to Labour and Delivery. My first being a couple weeks ago after I noticed Roo, our very very active Roo had stopped moving almost entirely for a half a day. That coupled with some spotting sent Henry and I over to get assessed. By the time we were there Roo was squirming around once again but everyone at the hospital told us that it was absolutely the right thing to get checked, if nothing else, but to be sure. I was grateful for their encouragement. This time at 34 and ½ weeks I was asked to go after a day and a half of irregular, but painful cramping. Obviously no cramping occurred while I was hooked up to the monitors but they were able to determine Roo was fine. After a couple quick tests they determined I had a bladder infection and was absolutely having painful cramping. Once again they told me I did the right thing in coming to get checked out since a bladder infection can spur pre term labor or even develop into a kidney infection. So it was again helpful to me to hear that I’m not over reacting or being silly. It is making Henry and I wonder if Roo is willing to stay put for much longer. I thought about the reality of that while I sat in the Assessment room.  I had truly not realized how soon Full Term is until the nurse chatted cheerfully, “Only 2 more weeks and you’re ready to go!”. I had to pause and ask her if she was serious. I hadn’t even realized how big my belly was until last week. I literally was waddling around thinking I still have my 20 week belly, but the truth is I’m much much bigger than that now. Roo will be here before we know it and it’s thrilling and terrifying all at once. Perhaps it’s because I know now, more than I ever did before Zoey was born how much a newborn can rock your world. 

The basement is nearly finished which is an amazing blessing. Having that space finished will change how we are able to function as a family in the house. Having a room downstairs means we can have both Roo and Zoey upstairs and we will hopefully be painting and setting up Zoey’s ‘New Room’ this weekend. Our goal has always been to make that transition with a fair amount of space between Roo’s arrival and her moving rooms. We don’t want there to be any association of, “I had to move out of MY room because of the baby.” We are also decorating it with fun colours and characters to make it an exciting change. I expect a night or two of adjustment, but I think she will overall really enjoy having a Big Girl room for her own. I also expect that setting up the crib again will make things feel even more real. 

34 Weeks

Physically, I’ve been feeling tired and getting and staying comfortable is increasingly more challenging. Off and on I was having the sensation of having been kicked very hard in the pelvic bone. I remembered it vaguely from my pregnancy with Zoey, but not a painful and less frequent. My Doctor told me that with a second pregnancy babies head can drop into place and then bounce back out repeatedly. But it seems yesterday Roo has dropped and so far seems content there. I’ll be very interested to hear where I’m at, at my next appointment. Henry and I are trying to mentally prepare for the very real possibility that baby could show up on time or even a little early. Henry’s guess is currently 3 days before Christmas, but I’m trying to balance preparedness and patience to go the long haul into January if it comes to it. Not the easiest to figure out, but we are doing our best!

Sweet Baby Zoey....

My sweet baby girl

I suppose for a lot of moms, their children are always babies to them. No matter how grown and mature they become, we see them always as our sweet baby. I know I am certainly guilty of this, Zoey is absolutely my sweet baby girl and probably always will be, however, she is growing up and I acknowledge and see that. It's exciting, thrilling, and terrible all at the same time. Our task at the moment is to make sure any big growing up changes happen before Baby Roo arrives. The very last thing we want is for Zoey to feel displaced, or that her comfort zones are being pushed because of her new baby sister or brother. The number one change that I personally accept I have been putting off, is her sleeping. She sleeps wonderfully in her big girl bed and has for months and months already. The only kicker is that since she can get up whenever she wants, we've ended up sitting with her to help her fall asleep at bedtime. It very rarely takes much more than 10 minutes for her to be fast asleep. She knows the routine, crawls into bed, snuggles up with Boots and Blankie and stretches out her hand for us to hold. I have known this wasn't how it would always be and that at some point we would need to help her fall asleep on her own, but really enjoyed those moments of quiet. It allowed her to fall asleep in a calm and secure state. With all the troubles we had in the beginning with her falling asleep on her own, I suppose I wasn't eager to go through it all again since this routine worked so well.

I love how she can fall asleep anywhere! Even at a hockey game.

Then about a month or so ago, she started waking up in the middle of the night. She would crawl out of bed and knock on her door until one of us came to sit with her. I'm assuming she would wake up and be unable to fall asleep on her own again because well we hadn't really required it of her. I take full ownership of that. She would wake up like this around 3 - 4 times a week, for the most part it only took 10 minutes for her to fall back asleep so we didn't push the issue and managed to take turns going to her room. That was until last night. Henry got up with her because the pain in my hips was unreal and he's such an amazing husband. He sat with her as usual and when she was asleep he came upstairs. Within in seconds, Zoey started to cry and was up again. In that moment, Henry made the important decision it was time to help her fall asleep on her own. I was incredibly proud of them both. He made sure she knew she was safe, loved, and grown up enough to handle this. He stood outside her door and came in to calm her ever once and a while and put her quietly back to bed when she got out. After what seemed like forever, she settled down enough for him to step away. She realized he was gone again and got back up. Henry went back and put her into bed with less fight this time than the first. Again she calmed down and he was able to step away. She seemed like she was asleep and stayed that way for a little bit. He had left her door open a crack since she seemed more relaxed when it was slightly open, which I understand, I was the same way and I suppose I still am. I'm not sure how long she stayed asleep that time but she crawled out of bed one last time and walked out of her room and called out, "Hello?". Henry went back down and she ran back to her bed and cried just a little when he said it was time to sleep. She rolled over and covered herself with Blankie and that was about it. After 10 - 15 minutes Henry checked on her and closed her door all the way and she slept the rest of the night, which by that point was only a few hours but it was a total victory nonetheless and it took a lot less time than we ever thought. We talked after about how proud we were of Zoey and about what an amazing little girl she is. At two and a half for many this seems like a late skill but as with most families and children, the expectations are different and struggles and eases are very different. I don't even anticipate that Roo will sleep the same way Zoey did/does. He or she may have a much easier time or a much harder time we have no idea. But when we do find out, we will use our gut and apply the things we've learned the best we can so far.

This Daddy adores his baby girl

So pray for us as we may have a couple tricky nights ahead, but I know that our precious girl will do amazing and pick this up just like she has everything else. The only thing that truly matters is that she knows she is safe, loved, and that her Daddy and Mommy are so incredibly proud of he and who she is and we would never change a thing.

Winded...

I've reached a stage where I feel metaphorically and physically winded lately. As is typical with this stage of pregnancy, Baby Roo is getting tighter and tighter on space which means a lot of pressing up into my lungs. It honestly for me, feels equivalent to the winded feeling you have when you sprint for 30 seconds to a minute. Not completely out of breath, but a need to stop and suck in some extra air. However, it's only three (ish) months left and I'm not feeling in a crazy rush for everything to be over yet. I'm trying to savour the moments in this pregnancy and enjoy my time with Zoey as an 'only' child. So for now, I'll shove a pillow behind my back and push baby down and take as much in as I can.

25 Weeks

Metaphorically, getting back to work after this Summer has been far more challenging than I anticipated. Changes in schedules have increased the workload in these first weeks back. We're managing but it's been mentally draining. I also forgot how at times you just want to put your computer away and play with Zoey. Regardless, we are thankful for a job where I can be with her all day and each week that passes, I am getting more and more prepped for my classes.

Playing with Great Aunt's Yarn

 

Zoey has been, as always, just a ball of energy and joy. Henry and I adore how we see more and more of her personality everyday. She is a girl who needs a little time to warm up to new people but once she feels settled and safe she will bring toys and books to play. She loves stickers lately and last night I went to bed and realized I had a whole line of them covering my legs. Her latest obsession is any kind of Doctor kit. She has one simple one and we recently got her a Doc McStuffins playset which she plays with at least once everyday. She sings the "Check Up" song as she puts on a stethoscope to examine Mommy and Daddy or any of her Stuffed animals. It's pretty awesome. She's becoming quite the singer lately as well, along with the Check Up song she surprised us one day by singing Twinkle Twinkle. As well, she is a huuuge fan of 'How Bad Can I Be?' from The Lorax. We love seeing her show a musical side and fully intend to foster that if she continues to show an interest.

We really couldn't ask for much more and feel so incredibly blessed. Honestly the only thing we wish we had more of was simply Time. We do our best to manage some family time every weekend/week but lately we're not sure why, it just seems harder and harder. However, as always we figure it out and put our priorities in order. We know that God wants us to be strong as a family even more than we do. So we continue to be thankful for all the amazing blessing we have and enjoy the ride as we eagerly await Baby Roo's arrival. Can you believe we're 27 weeks along already!

First Few Days of Potty Training....

I am happy to report that the first few days have gone really well! She's getting the hang of it slowly and we are keeping her pull ups dry for longer and longer periods of time. I'm not sure if she has figured out that pee and poo only go in the potty, but she's realizing that the potty is used for those things. We were just waiting for the first time she went in the potty to be enthusiastic and give her Smarties (the special treat she picked herself) and when it happened we cheered and clapped and she was so excited that we were excited! Over the last day and a half she is going within five minutes of being on the seat. We are still working on doing number two on the potty but in time that will happen.

I felt so stressed about this process at first and I wasn't sure why. I have helped with potty training over my years in the Early Learning field, but never spear headed it myself. But upon some reflection I realized my problem was due to the fact that I've never had a problem with diapers. I know I know....crazy! Most parents are ecstatic about the idea of no diapers to change but I'm a little strange I suppose. Even with a new baby coming I really felt no pressure to get Zoey out of them. I genuinely feel that with the 10 a day for a newborn what's the 3-4 a day she was using. But we realized with all our foot dragging, that the fights we were having in changing her diapers every time was due to the fact she didn't want to have them anymore. Zoey is a child who continues to surprise us with her ability to suddenly figure something out and just does it. She did it with sleeping, naps, eating, walking, weaning, etc. So we are learning to also take her cues and let her develop these skills when she tells us she's ready.



We were also surprised that she does not mind being on the big potty. We have a small portable one for her when she needs it, but overall we've spent most of our time on the big one and using a seat that was given to us by friends (thanks guys!!), the Bumbo potty seat seems to work great for girls specifically. The only trouble we've found with the little seat we have for her, is the hard seat obviously gets uncomfortable after waiting for over 5 minutes and Bumbo is the same soft foam from the original seats.  So overall, we are so proud and excited of our Zoey! I think in a couple day's we'll be heading out to buy her some big girl undies! That will be a big day for all of us!



So for my own future reference, here are some things I've learned in the last day or two about Potty Training:

• Make sure you have the time to dedicate to potty training. I can't imagine it would work at all if you're looking the clock for anything other than, when's the next time to sit on the potty.

•  Find a seat that is comfortable for them.

•  I think that for us, sitting on the potty should be limited to about 20 minutes. If nothing, then try again in an hour to hour and a half.

•  Talk about the potty lots! Make a big deal out of it, but never ever scold them for accidents. This one I know from my Early Learning experience, it tends to do more harm then good. You can explain gently that we want to stay clean and dry but that they are not bad for having an accident.

• Make a big deal out of successes! Have some sort of reward system, something that is of value to them. On top of any tangible reward clap and cheer and get excited!

• Have patience. I don't think I've ever spent so much time in the bathroom as I have these last few days, and waiting for that first success was tough, but I've learned in all ways children pick up on our stress and frustration. If we feel frustrated, so will them and that stalls progress. So try your best to make it a quality time project if you can!

I've read so many articles and no fail strategies for Potty Training and I think that's putting a lot of pressure on parents and kids. Every child is so unique and what works for Zoey may or may not work for you or even for Roo once that time comes. You are the expert in your own child, so gather all the ideas and advice you need and make the call based on your child and who they are! It's tough work changing gears from a whole life whizzing in a diaper where ever to having to hold it for a potty. It all will come in time and you only need to focus on your child not what others think.

I say all this to encourage others and remind myself that it's okay on the inevitable days that will feel more discouraging than today. I will keep you posted!

 

Ever Getting It Right...

Does anyone ever feel like they have no idea what they are doing in life and parenting? Anyone feel like you are royally screwing up your children? Good heavens I sure do! I'm hoping that over time that lessens as we see our children become self sustaining adults who hopefully go on to make their own good decisions.

I had a moment yesterday where I was plagued with doubts of my parenting ability. I am assuming it was brought on by a semi long afternoon of meltdowns and a need to be held every moment. In the light of a new day, even with it own challenges already, I see that while we had some 'moments' we had a great day together. We cleaned up, put away laundry together, baked snack and made some lasagna, listened to Adventures in Odyssey, she had a bath and so did the puppy. We wrapped the day at our Community Group which is always such a blessing. Zoey came with us this time and got to play with her friend who lives there. He's nearly twice her age but they do so well together it is so amazing for me to see. Since Zoey is a little shy, his personality helps direct her into an engaged playtime. So as we sat with our group wrapping our final chat about The Holy Spirit (Forgotten God by Francis Chan...read it!) Henry and I could see our quiet little girl bouncing and giggling with her friend.

It's in those moment God reminds me that despite my failings, our desire to raise Zoey and Roo in a God filled and directed household will be honored. It's shocking to think that truly, God loves our children even more than we possibly could and wants the best for them. If I want proof, really all I have to do is spend sometime just watching her play. She is beautiful, healthy, and so incredibly loving. And two.....sometimes I forget the impact that being two has on behavior and needs and it all come back into focus.

So I am trying to give us all a break and prayerfully remind myself that if I follow God in my parenting as well, Zoey will be be blessed in her future and growth. 

God, Love, and Prayer...

I realized I haven't updated on the Blog how things went with my Dermatologist appointment. It went well. Our Doctor was compassionate and determined to see me healed. As he was assessing my condition he did say he hadn't seen a case this severe in quite sometime. I suppose that was some what validating in a weird way. It meant that I wasn't being a baby about it but that it's truly a challenge. He prescribed some pregnancy safe steroid creams for me to stop the reaction. After a couple days I did notice a big improvement in how I was feeling. I have felt better than I have in months. It's not completely gone and I have the odd minor minor flare up but I'm not complaining as it's such an improvement in my quality of life these last few weeks. The next step is to get to an allergist to find out what the trigger is for me and hopefully for Zoey as well.

This brings me to thank you for your prayers. Henry and I have been amazed and humbled by the love and prayers from so many. We truly believe it's impacted our lives positively. Prayer is one of those areas that we strive to improve and strengthen in our lives and to pass that on to our children. This week we had the pleasure of attending a speaking event at The Gate where Dr Jeyseelan and his amazing wife Lizy (I hope I'm spelling that right!). They talked about their ministry in India and the amazing experiences they have had and what they hope to achieve in the future. I was so captivated by what they had to share and touched by their faith and sincerity. As they finished, they told the congregation that they would be praying for anyone who needed or wanted them too. I'm not sure why, but I've very very rarely taken advantage of these offerings. But as I sat there listening to the music, I was overwhelmed and I felt God tugging at me and telling me to go. In my quiet time of prayer, I have felt a strong sense that God has a plan for restoration and healing for me and I knew in that moment that God was asking me to act in faith and allow Dr Jey and his wife pray for me. Henry came with me, since by this point I knew I wouldn't be able to speak clearly through the tears. I'd like to blame pregnancy on this one, but I know that rather when you feel God moving you, it touches you deeply. As we approached the front, Henry spoke for me until I could squeak a few words out myself. We spoke quickly to them about the trials and deep pain that we've been dealing with and said we were praying for healing, restoration, and peace. As they laid their hands on me and prayed with urgency and faith I felt a quiet calm slowly come over me. I felt God assure me of his presence and his plan for us. I felt a renewed certainty of his love for me and my family.  After they hugged us and we thanked them we gathered our things and Zoey and headed home quickly. I normally would have stayed to visit but I felt I needed to take a moment to process it all. I am so grateful for the kind words and prayers of Dr Jeyseelan and Lizy, they will truly resonate with me for many years to come.

In regards to life in general, we are so excited for Summer to be here! Summer holidays for me means a great deal. It means having my evenings with my family, it means that I am not at my computer for hours during the day and I get to focus entirely on Zoey. It also means we can go visit Henry at the shop and see friends during the week, even have people over on, oh, a Tuesday! There are many amazing aspects of my job but the hours truly take their toll on our family as a whole. Sometimes I get fooled into thinking I'm the only one who feels the effects of the nights, but I realize that Henry and Zoey miss me just as much as I miss them and we revel in the additional time together. We will be kicking off our summer with a trip to a family friends cabin. It will be Zoey's first time there and we are so very excited for that time.

I am at 13 weeks in this pregnancy and I am continually feeling better and more like myself. I am still exhausted by 8:30 at night and the familiar pregnancy congestion has set in, I sound like I have a perpetual cold which is exactly what happened while pregnant with Zoey. While it's unpleasant, it's so unbelievably worth it. Even though I know it's going to be exhausting and challenging, we are already so excited to meet Baby Roo. Zoey is already prancing around talking about Baby! Although, last night Henry was telling Zoey that babies do not go in the microwave or on the stove (in her play kitchen). I think I felt some teeny panicked kicks and squirms during that conversation ;)

Finally, I got a call to set up my first Prenatal appointment with our OBgyn. I'm so excited already, mostly just because we couldn't love our Doctor any more so I'm looking forward to catching up with him.


It's going to be an amazing summer! And I'm hoping to record as much of it as I can!

And Then There Were Four....

10  Weeks

 

Well the name of this blog will change come December (or January)! It’s true we are expanding our little family and we couldn’t be more excited or terrified. Just like the anxiety of the unknown when you have your first child, there is the unknown of having a second. However, we prayed for this child and cannot wait to meet them and do it again. We know that Zoey will be an incredible Big Sister, it will be a huge huge adjustment for her, but she’s going to handle it like she does everything, a Rockstar.  To help with the transition we are planning on helping her with any changes during the summer rather than right before or after baby comes. We don’t want her to feel displaced because of baby, so the big girl changes will happen months before. The changes are nothing too major but we do plan to move her room, which will be a change but we are going to make it as exciting as we possibly can! We found some amazing wall decals for cheap cheap cheap at Walmart. So she gets the Heffalump room she wants without the mural painting (which did turn out amazing).

12 Weeks

 I am 12 weeks along in this pregnancy and a lot of things have been different and very similar. I’ve popped way earlier than I did with Zoey but I expected that as it happens with second pregnancies. I felt  oh so sick in the first few months but never clinging to the porcelain sick that some have, for this I have been grateful. I’ve experienced a bizarre and frustrating hunger when I am not nauseous. Like, ‘I don’t think I can get this food in my mouth fast enough’ hunger. It’s lessening now, thank heavens, otherwise I feared I would gain 100 pounds this time around. I was pleasantly surprised at my first appointment that I am below any number I imagined at this point, so cheers to that!

Waiting to be a Big Sister is tough...

Our first Prenatal appointment was much more eventful than my previous appointments with Zoey. It started the same as any other, I peed in a cup and then put on those pretty gowns (can’t they get a material that’s not pastel and see through?). The doctor came in and he started checking my stomach and all those fun things. Then he said he'd try the Doppler to find the heartbeat which was why I had asked Henry to come with me, the first heartbeat is so exciting. First try and he couldn't quite find it so he said he'd do the pelvic exam first and maybe get baby moving for him. So we did that and then he tried the Doppler again. No dice, they got a different machine to try and for probably 7- 10 minutes he tried to find the heartbeat with no luck. So at first I was bummed that Henry missed work to come to the appointment and didn't get to hear a heartbeat. Then I realized our Doctor seemed to be thinking a lot. I got dressed and I told Henry I hadn't even considered the alternative, that something could be wrong. We were remarkably unstressed. Doctor came back and said everything looks good, and my cervix looks like I'm pregnant. I was sensing a but....and the he said, just to be safe he wanted to send me for an ultrasound....today (Friday). He took us that he really didn't want us to worry, that nine times out of ten the baby is just hiding, but that in his years practicing he's seen the alternative so he wanted to be safe. I truly appreciated his desire to be careful and through with mine and Baby Roo’s health.

So we went to the booking clerk and started chugging water, thankfully I have been practicing more regular water intake so I had a big bottle with me. I drank over  4 cups in 5 minutes, and then we were off straight to the hospital. I got a little misty as I was processing it all but Henry and I were staying calm. We went to the hospital and got shuffled back to Diagnostic Imaging all within 20 minutes. I went in for the ultrasound by myself at first and the incredibly kind ultrasound tech told me within 2 seconds of looking and said, “There's a baby and a heartbeat”. Sweet relief.

After they did all the measurements and checks they said Baby Roo is 11 weeks (12 now) and looks great. Henry came in with Zoey and they showed us the screen and I burst into tears. A perfect little baby in there kicking and bouncing away. Baby doesn't look like a tadpole anymore, it's a baby! :) We could see a head, two hands, fingers, feet, and bum....perfect. So a whirlwind morning ended with the greatest moment. Honestly we know that God gave us yesterday as a gift.

We are so so grateful and gosh this pregnancy feels almost all of a sudden real! So that meant it was time to start documenting Baby Roo the best I can! Summer is right around the corner so I plan to record as much as I can of our last summer as a family of three.

Happy 2nd Birthday Zoey

Dear Zoey,

You’re TWO now! I know it sounds cliched, but it’s amazing to me how fast time has gone by. It been the most amazing, challenging, unforgettable, untradeable two years. We have watched you learn so much and develop from a baby into a toddler. I can remember when you were just 3 months old and wondering how on earth you would transform from laying on the floor to a baby who could sit on her own. I’ve worked with children all my life but to see you do it, was like watching a miracle. I knew you could do it, I think you can do anything.

Now you’ve moved into a Big Girl bed! We made a big deal out of it and let you pick your very own bedding. You grabbed the Tinkerbell bedding off the shelf by yourself and hauled it to the cart. You squealed and jumped on the new bed and were so thrilled to see it set up. As with any new changes you were nervous going to sleep at first but now you lie down and if Mommy or Daddy sits with you for just a few minutes you roll over and fall fast asleep. I cannot tell you enough, how proud I am of you.

You are so bright Zoey and kind and loving. You make everyone you come in contact with feel your special joy. You blow kisses to anyone who waves, if you’re not overwhelmed with teething pain, you have a smile and a giggle for everyone. You enjoy playing with toys and the iPad. You’re so incredibly smart. When others see how comfortable you are with technology, with your blocks, with your motor skills they are amazed.

We are so grateful and amazed by you. You’re personality and spirit have brought so much more to our lives than we could have ever imagined. EVERY day is more interesting and amazing than the day before.

We love you Zoey Faith....Always and Forever